Hooo boy. Testing self-tanners is hard work, friends. And time consuming!

We’ve been using one self-tanning moisturizer or another for the last five weeks, and we’re finally ready to share our findings. First of all we have to say if we learned anything over the last month or so, it’s that our legs have no business in the free world without some color to signify they are alive and well and capable of standing on their own two feet (HA! We joke!). Seriously though, legs as white as ours should be given a citation for indecency, or at least disturbing the peace, if seen in broad daylight.

We really have a love/hate relationship with self tanners. We love how they give us color without having to go in the sun, but hate how they smell. The active ingredient in self-tanners does not like our skin. At all.

(Let it be noted that we are not trying to achieve a deep, dark, Hawaiian Tropic tan here. We’re only trying to protect the children in the neighborhood from having their retinas burned to the core by our blindingly white limbs. Also, we like to walk down the street without people pointing in our direction and laughing hysterically.)

For this little experiment we tested 5 self-tanners that we haven’t tried before, most of them new to the market, all reasonably priced. Here’s the lowdown:

Jergens Natural Glow Firming Daily Moisturizer

We’ve been using Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer for a few years now and while we really love how it has a formula for fair skin and does a great job of giving us natural-looking color, it stinks to high heaven. We’ve gotten around this by applying it at night and washing it off in the shower the next morning.

When we saw the firming version of this self-tanner, we had to give it a try because who doesn’t want firmer thighs, right?

After using this religiously for two weeks, our legs seemed a tad bit firmer but we thought we’d get other opinions on the state of our legs. We took a quick walk around the house and got the following responses:

15 year old daughter that wanted to go out with friends, even though she’s grounded: “You’re so hot, Mom. Nobody has legs better than yours.”

4 year old daughter that’s obsessed with skin: Says nothing. Just giggles, lifts up her shirt and rubs her bare belly on our thigh.

36 year old husband that barely glances my way before continuing his very important task of KEEPING BOTH EYES ON THE GOLF CHANNEL because we all know if you look away from golf, you might totally miss something: “Looks good, hon.”

Ya. So. Asking for loved ones’ opinions doesn’t really work. After this, we decided to stick with our own opinions and not ask anyone else for their thoughts.

Estée Lauder Body Performance Naturally Radiant Moisturizer

At $35 per bottle, this is the costliest self-tanning moisturizer we tried this month, but OH. MY. GOD.

Incredible.

This looks and feels like moisturizer, smells nice, and instantly gives our skin a glow thanks to the pearlized formula. As with all self-tanning moisturizers, color develops gradually over a few days but leaves us with a very natural looking hint of color.

This can easily take the place of your daily moisturizer, which can’t be said of the other products here, as it leaves our skin soft and hydrated without feeling sticky.

Sally Hansen Smooth Glow Stubble Reducing Daily Moisturizer

We found this new self-tanning moisturizer by Sally Hansen at Rite Aid, but can’t seem to find an image or link for it anywhere.

While this is hard to rub in (takes forever) and leaves us feeling kind of sticky we have to admit that the “stubble reducing” ingredient, whatever it may be, does seem to work. And because it’s for all skin tones, our tan developed a deeper color than with some of the others.

L’Oreal Sublime Glow Daily Moisturizer

Aside from a strange Lipton Iced Tea scent, L’Oreal Sublime Glow Daily Moisturizer didn’t disappoint. With vitamin E, mango butter and sweet almond oil, this left our skin super soft.

The light-capturing micro pearls gave us an all-over shimmer while our tan gradually developed. This also comes in different shades so your tan is more natural looking.

Prescriptives Sunsheen

When we first tried Prescriptives Sunsheen we literally jumped up and down with excitement.

We have never before found a self-tanner with instant color that blends well and doesn’t make us look like we’ve been on a carrot and pumpkin diet for the last 18 months.

In addition to the instant summer glow in just the right shade of tan-ness, we also love that this has SPF 15. Just because you have sleek, tanned legs does not mean you are protected from the sun’s harmful rays.

If you don’t already know this, skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States with over 1 million cases diagnosed each year*. One in five Americans will develop skin cancer in their lifetime.

If that isn’t reason enough to bust out the SPF, how about this: your chances of getting skin cancer DOUBLES if you’ve had five or more sunburns in your life. (Cough. Choke. We reached our quota before we even entered fourth grade.)

Please be careful this summer and protect yourself.

This concludes today’s lecture. Now go forth and self-tan!

(May is Fake Bake Month at Beauty Addict. Check in all month for Kristen’s daily self-tanning tips and product reviews.)

*Skin cancer facts from The Skin Cancer Foundation.